Many people can relate to being on the receiving end of unsolicited opinions and intrusive questions about having children. Society often imposes a silent expectation: build a career, find a partner, get married, and start a family. Those who choose a different path—especially couples who decide not to have kids—frequently find themselves having to explain or even defend their choice. Unfortunately, this decision is often met with judgment rather than acceptance.
People who don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want children can be quite blunt, sometimes asking deeply personal and inappropriate questions. These questions, whether intentional or not, can make the recipient feel uncomfortable and even pressured to justify their lifestyle. For some, it’s a personal choice; for others, it may be due to circumstances that are no one else’s business. Regardless of the reason, such decisions should be respected without interrogation.
Sadly, society often labels those who choose a child-free life as selfish. The idea that personal fulfillment or happiness can exist outside of parenthood is still met with skepticism. But why is it that choosing not to have children is seen as self-centered, while having kids for the wrong reasons—such as societal pressure or personal validation—is rarely questioned? The assumption that everyone should want to be a parent ignores the diversity of life choices and individual circumstances.
Ironically, the perception of egoism shifts when couples who are considered “different” decide to have children. Whether it’s same-sex couples, individuals with disabilities, or those who break conventional norms, their decision to become parents is often scrutinized under a different lens. In these cases, rather than being deemed selfish, their choice is sometimes seen as a bold or admirable act. This double standard highlights how inconsistent and biased societal expectations can be when it comes to parenthood.